Gone Girl

Literally me, blowing off the dusts from this hashtag-haven't-updated-in-a-""WHILE"" blog

my god....when was the last time I wrote again?

I don't even know how to write without emojis anymore!!!

For my followers, hi, it's still 'Ainaa but now without the Mania (lol). I'm now (almost) 20 years old and I'm sorry I wasn't apart of your lives for 6 years. I had other blogs of course but they served different purposes (she a poet wannabe or wutevaaa) and I kept DOWP private because people now and then be hitting me up with "Ainaa I kinda found your blog" like WHY PEOPLE WHYYY??? T-T I stopped writing particularly because I couldn't get ahold of internet since my boarding school didn't allow us to bring our smartphones (but I did anyway secretly every year and permanently starting f4 MUAHAHAHAH) hence why I had 2 diaries throughout high school- they are even more embarrassing than the contents of this blog I swear to god I can't even read them anymore. When I got into college at 17, I never wrote again...which is sad because I used to really really love writing even though I suck badly at it. Can you believe one of my cita cita dulu was actually to be the youngest novelist in Malaysia? lmaooooo

Earlier this year I don't why but I had some sort of identity crisis where out of the sudden I got this overwhelming urge to start and post my daily thoughts (or thots if u like, JK) and rants on Tumblr like whaaa. Maybe because I was influenced by this one person who did the same in discreet so I created a new account (even though I already have an existing one) for a fresh start (sangat~~~) but it didn't last long, as expected. I also experienced the same burst of feeling this MCO with youtube butttt I put a halt on it right then and there because Idk I find it easier to draft my words when writing compared to speaking and videos take too much of my time to shoot and edit and I don't got time fo dat yooo. Gotta say bye-bye to my future income now :') HAHAHAHAHAHAH

I mean it's different you know writing in your notes app only for your eyes to see vs writing digitally in open and be mystified by who reads and who doesn't. The uncertainty in it is what keeps blogging interesting- and also the basis that underlies of why life is worth it.

So with a lot of time in my hands rn, I'm planning to pick up where I left off starting from 2014 till 2020.....I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE DAMN LONG SO PLEASE BEAR WITH ME!! I'm not planning on editing/removing anything from this blog though because albeit all my existing pages are cringy AF (who spells lah as lha?? I CAN'T), they are still parts of me (and the parts which made all of you followed me) thus it's unfair for me to remove them just because I grew up. They're staying to serve as a reminder that I was uncool 😔🤟  (It's confirmed- I can't live without emojis)

I'm planning to spam my life updateSSSSS once my exam finishes this 19th SO BRACE YOURSELVES!! 😋

Till then, pray my gastrointestinal biology exam will be ezpz